Review: Moonlight

Ever wonder why the gods in those old Greek myths spent so much time meddling in the lives of mortals? Why did they compete with mortal men for the love of mortal women? Why did they act so jealously and childishly in the presence of mere humans? The literary answer is that the price of eternal life and great power is a lack of heroism. See, if you’re not going to die, then you have nothing to risk. If your life is not finite, then there is no urgency, no sense of regret or impending loss. In short, the motivations that push some humans on to greatness is missing amongst the immortal. And the result is envy. The gods envy us.

The modern equivalent of such tales is the seeming limitless TV fascination with vampires. Personally, the genre does nothing for me. But for some reason, the plight of the vampire, a blood sucking, light eschewing, soulless, cold and pale undead creature, is associated in modern Western culture with romance and heroism. The sentiment that is of attached to this portrayal is the same as that reflected in the Greek myths: the immortal one envies the mortal. The difference, of course, is that the Greeks were sensible enough to portray the mortal as the hero, and the immortal as the whiny child.

The latest incarnation of this tired trope is the new CBS show Moonlight. I took the time this week to watch the first 10 episodes of this show. Yes, I watched all 10 in a row. That’s how much of a loser I am.

I’m struggling to understand, first, why CBS would choose to resurrect (pun intended) this tired idea; and, second, why they would choose to do it in such an uncreative, unoriginal and frankly amateurish fashion. By now, you are sensing that I did not like what I saw. Some online reviews suggested that the show improves into the 5th episode, so I kept holding out hope… fruitlessly. Word is that CBS has already renewed the show for at least a few more episodes in April.

Here’s the thing: CBS is pulling out all the stops to push this polished turd of a show, while they seem intent on killing off a true gem that is also in their roster, a little show called Jericho. I consider Jericho to be the second best TV show on network American television at the moment, behind ABC’s transcendant Lost. Clearly, this is a case of Moonlight being targeted to a larger, juicier demographic: the rich and brain dead.

Moonlight is about an 85 year old vampire stuck at the physical age of 35, now patrolling Los Angeles as a do-gooding detective. Of course, there’s a love interest, a stereotypical plucky “girl reporter” (played hackishly by Sophia Myles) with more ambition than sense. Joss Whedon’s Angel did the vampire-detective thing with wit, depth, complexity and heart. Forever Knight plumbed this meme, as well. Why do we need to see it again? And why so weakly?

Watching this atrocity, I kept feeling that it was written by graduates of the local community writers workshop. Characters are simplistic, dialogue predictable and plots unbelievably juvenile. In fact, the premise seemingly appeals to the stereotype of the shut-in, cat-owning female demographic: the lead vampire is tall, dark, handsome, mysterious and has a penchant for making commitments and promises to “make everything all right”, even though he is in no position to make such assurances– the kind of fellow I would ordinarily refer to as a “douchebag”. The female lead is illogical, untalented, unsexy and unreasonable. Much like the weakest of Lois Lane incarnations, her version of being a “strong woman” is to constantly get over her head so that she needs to be saved by the big, strong, patronizing man. The two have no chemistry, no matter how many times lesser characters make note of how much chemistry they have. (Yes, this actually happens).

Want to know how stupid the writing is? This is a show about vampires, where the protagonist is a vampire, and wherein every conversation relates to the nature of vampires. Yet when a convict miraculously resurrects after having been executed, and goes on a post-death killing spree, it takes our brilliant undead detective half the show to propose the theory that the miscreant might be a –gasp!– vampire.

Good writing exists on network television. Lost and Jericho are two excellent examples. Why couldn’t CBS spare a couple of bucks for one or two good writers for this monstrosity of a show?

Science fiction, horror and related genre-type shows are all the rage now in America. The problem is that with this fad necessarily comes a flood of mediocrity. My fear is that this dilution of quality will create a backlash against the genre as a whole, and in a couple of years science fiction TV shows will be relegated once more to Sunday nights on cable stations. You can blame steaming turds like Moonlight when that happens.